Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Why God Killed Ted Kennedy

Check this, I'm ahead of the curve. Expect more of these kind of things to come up from other sources in the next few days once the faux-reverence dies down.

Ted Kennedy died today, and though he hasn't actually voted on anything for half a year this has political ramifications. Namely, Democrats no longer have a filibuster proof majority....though of course, they've only ever had one in theory since there hasn't been a time where more than 57 Democrats have gathered to vote on a bill at any one time anyway due to sicknesses of Senators. And there is that whole "blue dog" whatsit going on anyway.

The point is, Ted Kennedy died, and now Democrats can not bully their way through health care legislation by a pure numbers battle. I know, some may think "What health care legislation?" After all, it hasn't had much media attention, so obviously there is a covert plot to shove some legislation through using a majority rule. But now that Kennedy's dead, this can't happen!

So, why did God kill Ted Kennedy? Sure looks to me like it was to stop this whole health care nonsense. Apparently God is upset with us even considering revamping this well working system. Hey, we've got the most expensive health care system on the planet, that means it's awesome! And since America is God's favorite country, we must be doing it right!

He is obviously angered at our attempt revamp this system and as such, has killed Ted Kennedy. Fact. Those other liberals in the Senate better watch themselves too, because God's watching them. And they're gonna have some answering to do real fast!

This post brought to you by such awesomeness as John Piper's article from late last week stating that a tornado in downtown Minneapolis which toppled a Lutheran church steeple and did some damage to a convention center was a result of God's anger at the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America for considering a vote during their national convention in Minneapolis (in that convention center) which would allow for practicing homosexuals to be allowed in pastoral ministry positions. And run-on sentences.