Monday, September 14, 2009

My little girl

That's my little girl, Brooke.

She's awesome.

And I'm beginning to run into a problem with her. Let me try to explain.

I wrote previously about a basic idea of what I want to do and what I feel I should be doing with my life. Vague concepts - yes, clear concept - I think so as well.

So I've been pouring much of my time into trying to be as involved in the church as possible. I'm leading a men's connect group on Sunday evenings, directly after a couples group which I am temporarily leading while our actual leaders are on a business trip in Europe for the fall.

I'm also in rotation with the worship band, and when not playing I try to help out Justin in running lights for service as much as possible. As such, I was helping out with the middle school Gladiator Games program this past Friday evening.

In addition, I'm trying to get further into the missions area and other areas at church. Which has resulted in me being a site/project leader for our Second Saturday outreach this past weekend, and I am now the 'media guy' for the Green Peace class that NPC is doing on Wednesday nights (along with Jenny, I'm trying to develop a sassy side kick name for her, she turned down "Bangs McCoy").

Basically, I'm trying to put as much time in as I can. In every area that needs assistance and I feel I can actually assist in.

Now for the problem.

I came home Friday night around 9:30 or so from the Gladiator Games event, and Jenny told me that Brooke just came out of her room a moment ago and asked if I was home yet. Brooke goes to bed at 8. She has been in her bed waiting for me.

So I went into her room to give her hugs/kisses and let her know I was home. Usually in the evenings I read her a chapter of a book (we're up to book 3 in Chronicles of Narnia already!), and then we do prayers and she goes to bed.

Jenny took care of the honors while I was away this evening.

But while I was in Brooke's room, I asked her if she wanted to do prayers. She said OK. I prayed first and then it was her turn.

Dear God, Thank you for Mommy, and please let Daddy come home earlier tomorrow. Amen.


I still haven't quite scraped myself up off the ground from where that 2000 lbs of bricks splattered me...

She hadn't seen me at all that day, and in fact, we had not spent more than a few minutes together at all in the past 5 days because there was something going on every evening that week.

Monday - I work until 8
Tuesday - Band practice for me, play-date with some friends for her
Wednesday - Green Peace class
Thursday - She has gymnastics
Friday - Gladiator Games

She knew I was going to be gone in the morning for Second Saturday. She didn't quite get that I would be home at lunch time. But it doesn't matter.

She missed me.

And I missed her too.

I can not allow this to happen.

I can not allow myself to get busy with things that I want to do, even if they are "good" things, if the consequence is my little girl staying up late waiting for her Daddy to come home.

This is completely unacceptable.

I need to create a balance for her. More so, I need to really focus on her (& Jenny of course) while I actually am home, as opposed to just "unwinding" at television or zoning out at the computer or reading or doing anything else that is less important.

This is a big deal.

I'm not quite sure how to deal with this.